Sorrows & Prayers… but no f*cks given
For many people, church is the house of God and the ideal of it is supposed to be where God resides. It’s been a while since I’ve been in Sunday school, but I do remember that the term ‘church’ can refer to a physical building as well as the “believers” that occupy a space. If I make no mistake, both are supposed to be a place where you go for comfort, seek guidance, and a place of healing for both those seeking and receiving, but sadly that’s not usually the reality for most of us of Trans or queer experience.
On November 22, the NYC homecoming ceremony for the icon, activist and matriarch Miss Major Griffin-Gracy was held. The service took place at The Riverside Church in Manhattan, a church that’s supposed to have a long standing history of being inclusive and supportive of the LGBTQIA community. They even have a Maranatha ministry, a ministry dedicated to being the first LGBTQIA parish-based ministry within the United Church of Christ. With advertising like that, you can imagine the shock and confusion when attendees of Miss Major‘s home going service were asked to leave abruptly with no explanation given to the mourners.
The service was star studded. Dr. Angela Davis opened the service with words of encouragement and remembrance. Raquel Willis graced the stage with her presence and spoke passionately about her time with Miss Major and Mariah Moore delivered a powerful eulogy that shook the room. In addition, there were the amazing musical talents of civil rights activist and gospel singer Queen Esther Marrow. As I’m enjoying the beautiful ceremony, I whisper in Raquel‘s ear how much I’ve missed this part of church and no sooner than those words left my lips, it was abruptly interrupted by the church coordinator informing the host, Ceyenne Doroshow, that she needed to end the service and we had to vacate immediately. Not only did this shock everyone in attendance, but to add insult to injury, many Trans people including myself, were denied access to the bathroom before being quickly ushered out of the building. I’m not sure what the fuck happened, but it is reminiscence of the experience we had at St. Patrick’s Cathedral.
Almost 2 years ago, we buried my mentor and sister, Cecilia Gentili, and the service was held at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Manhattan. I’m still confused how they can host a white gay man with no problems but when it came to an Argentinian immigrant of Trans experience, then there’s a problem. No service had been so well attended since Andy Warhol’s funeral in 1987 and they hadn’t seen that many people in church if it wasn’t a holiday, the priest shared at Cecilia‘s funeral. The archdiocese gave the excuse that they thought it was going to be a standard funeral, and not the star-studded fashion event that Cecilia deserved.
Don’t be mad at the family because you never heard of Google searches in 2023. To be queer is to be a revolutionary and to be a revolutionary is to disrupt to cause change. So, if you agree with Act Up & WHAM’s 1989 disruption of mass or even 2023’s celebration of Cecilia‘s life where we were called deceptive and sacrilegious, then there is a time. Queerness and religion have a very complex relationship and we see this yet again, unfortunately, with Miss Major‘s service.
Like many people, I grew up in the church. First, Catholic and then Pentecostal. I remember going to church sometimes 5 to 6 days a week and loving it. The revivals, choir rehearsal, the service and how it filled me with such joy to spend time with lov ed ones. It made my relatives extremely happy to see that I enjoyed genuinely being there. That all came to an end when too many of us started hanging out with “the wrong crowd”. I will never forget when five of us came in and when the pastor saw us, she stopped what she was preaching about and started talking about “the spirit of homosexuality” and how it was running rampant in this church. I was hurt. This institution that I thought was a safe space ended up being one of the most toxic and dangerous places known in history.
In Red Ink, Cecilia’s one woman show, she starts off with the statement “I'm an atheist, but…” like many of us, she left religion and found her own relationship with God or at least my understanding of what a higher power might be for her. I wonder how many times we must be disrespected before we stop going to institutions who have shown us who they are? I left the cult we call church in order to accept myself but not before fucking Pastor Miller’s daughter. How’s that for the spirit of homosexuality? I figured it was only right for me to baptize her in the bathroom of her mother‘s church with my seed. Let that stand as a warning to all institutions oppressing Trans and queer people: if you keep fanning the flames of faggotry, don’t gag if you get burnt!