On the morning of Monday, August 24, I woke up, as I do most mornings, with my darling daughter, the Countess of Chaos, securely sleeping in her favorite place—my personal dirty pillows, a.k.a. my tits. Since I’m on vacation, I haven’t been as tapped into the community, as I’m trying to learn how to separate in order to prioritize self-care while sustaining this work. I refuse to follow in the same habits as our Transtors, who literally worked themselves to death.

I received some staggering news that left many New York activists, community partners, and siblings of the late Kiara St. James gobsmacked. What exactly had my flabbers so ghasted? 

Ok so BOOM! William Colon is a cisgender man working at NYTAG which just happens to be a FUBU (For Us By Us) organization.  He was the CFO (Chief Financial Officer), AS 👏🏼 A 👏🏽 CIS 👏🏾 MAN 👏🏿 and now is the CEO (chief executive officer) I’m guessing your values are aligned; but wait, how were they align? If you believe in the mission statement of this org you should’ve never taken either one of those roles! For those who don’t know, NYTAG was founded by Kiara St. James and Tanya Walker, with the help of other Black and Brown trans women, because let’s be serious: historically we’re the ones who get things done when it comes to community and public engagement. Taken from the NYTAG website, their mission statement reads: “To create pathways for TGNCNBI New Yorkers to build leadership, drive advocacy, and grow community rooted in collective care and power.” Their vision statement states: “A New York where every TGNCNBI person can lead, thrive, and shape the world they live in.” This is why many of us who knew, worked beside, and loved Kiara are perplexed. Just because you are qualified to do this work doesn’t mean you should be doing it. It’s giving Great gowns, beautiful gowns, not the right gown for this occasion!

For many people, church is the house of God and the ideal of it is supposed to be where God resides. It’s been a while since I’ve been in Sunday school, but I do remember that the term ‘church’ can refer to a physical building as well as the “believers” that occupy a space. If I make no mistake, both are supposed to be a place where you go for comfort, seek guidance, and a place of healing for both those seeking and receiving, but sadly that’s not usually the reality for most of us of Trans or queer experience.

On November 22, the NYC homecoming ceremony for the icon, activist and matriarch Miss Major Griffin-Gracy was held. The service took place at The Riverside Church in Manhattan, a church that’s supposed to have a long standing history of being inclusive and supportive of the LGBTQIA community. They even have a Maranatha ministry, a ministry dedicated to being the first LGBTQIA parish-based ministry within the United Church of Christ. With advertising like that, you can imagine the shock and confusion when attendees of Miss Major‘s home going service were asked to leave abruptly with no explanation given to the mourners.